Sneak hug!

manlypanda


I am not a thief...

...I am a treasure hunter.


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The past...
Sneak hug!
manlypanda
I got to thinking about my old friend just now. The friend I'd had since I was three years old. Three years old. And about how, as soon as she got into high school, she dropped me like dead weight.

I got to thinking about one time in particular. It was Halloween, and we were going to go trick or treating. I had waited too long to get a costume, so I picked one up on the fly. It was a fairy costume, but it was uncomfortable, and the tights kept sliding down. I decided to go with her and her group of friends who I didn't know. The whole night was a disaster, which consisted of me pulling up my tights every 5 minutes, shivering my ass off, and being largely ignored by the whole group. I did talk to one girl for a while, she was nice, but it wasn't my old friend.

For some reason, one thing from that night stands out in my mind. Okay, maybe two things.

The first thing, the one I started thinking about tonight, was a short encounter that probably didn't mean much to anybody...except me. My friend had taken a piece of candy, still in the wrapper, and shoved it into my mouth. In all good fun, that wasn't what bothered me. What bothered me was a comment made by one of her friends, I don't even know who it is anymore. But he said, "That means she loves you." For some reason, I was really offended by this comment. Of course, my logical side said he was just being funny and didn't mean any offense, but my emotional side told me that he was trying to say that he knew my old friend better than I did, and that he might not have known that we knew each other for so long. I think I said something like "Hey, I've known her since I was three, I know..." and then the encounter was forgotten.

The other thing that really bothered me was that...and okay, this is going to sound weird, but my teenage hormones were going crazy at that point! There was a guy there that was SUPER cute, and he kept doing things that made me think that he liked me (flirting and whatnot), but I couldn't really enjoy it or flirt back, because as soon as we pulled up to where we were going to start trick or treating, she said "Oh, by the way, I have dibs on that guy." They weren't dating (yet, she started dating him that night), and she didn't even give me a chance. In fact, that happened quite a lot. For those of you who have been reading my jounral for a while, a some years ago I posted that she stole the guy I liked from me, and she KNEW that I liked him. She went out with him for a total of a week or two, then they broke up. It always seemed like the guys I liked, liked her. Pretty much all guys liked her. I never had a damn chance. Of course now I realize they were not good for me and that I shouldn't have bothered, but at the time, I was very fragile. We all are, at that age. (14-16)

This all happened like...4, 5 years ago, so I've pretty much come to terms with it all, but it's still painful to think about. That was one of the last times we hung out. I haven't seen her in a couple years, the last time was from the window of her car at a convenience store. We waved briefly, then looked away, and drove away. I could have cried at that moment. How could we go from being best friends to giving eachother a quick, uncomfortable wave, then getting the hell out of there? It's...really eerie.

Well, there you go, there's my sad, reminiscing post for the evening. I hope you are all doing well.

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